Odd Reminders

Why does it seem to always rain over the July 4th holiday weekend? I don’t really remember the weather over this weekend before the year 2003. 2003 had a huge impact on my life. That was the year my beautiful baby girl was born.

It was also the year we were parked to watch the fireworks, and hit by a drunk driver. We were waiting and waiting to see if the rain would clear so they would light the fireworks.

My daughter was not due until August 6th. She came via emergency c-section on July 5th. It was very traumatic for me. There are so many stories and things I could say about that experience, but we’ll save that for another time.

The very next year it rained again on the 4th of July. The family and friends we were with were all drinking-not driving, just drinking. It was more than I could handle. The rain and then the drinking too. I was already a little edgy knowing it “might” rain. It was too much of a reminder of the past year and everything that we had been through as a result of a rainy 4th of July night and a drunk driver. I ended up going home with both of my children, sobbing the whole way home. Thank goodness for the close bonds of other family members. My aunt came and just sat with me. We didn’t talk about it, or anything else, for that matter. We just sat together. We were even able to see some fireworks from my backyard, when the rain cleared that night.

So for the past 8 years when it rains on the 4th of July-or when we are trying to watch fireworks, it takes me right back to that night and how scared I was that I might lose this child.

I don’t sob anymore like I did that first year, but it still puts things back into perspective (I guess is the best way to put it.) So many people think I need to get over it and quit letting it be an emotional thing for me. I guess I don’t know how, and I don’t think I want to. It’s a little reminder of how lucky and blessed my life is.
DON’T TELL GOD HOW BIG YOUR STORM IS, TELL THE STORM HOW BIG YOUR GOD IS.